Just giving it away...

So, I work near the 16th Street Mall in Denver....and let me tell you, it is a very interesting place. Most definitely a great place to sit back and "people watch." Yesterday I was strolling down the mall (yep, I was strolling, not walking, but strolling) and enjoying the "scenery" as it were. Anyway, I passed by a group of people surrounding a guy who was standing on a bench and yelling out trivia questions, "What is the largest planet in the solar system?" etc... Well, whenever someone yelled out the right answer he would give him or her a dollar from the stack of bills in his hand. Bizarre. It made me smile though.

Where is MY Eward Cullen?

Okay--so, the "Twilight" movie is currently in production....and as a huge "Twilighter" (Twilight Series Fan) I have to add some eye candy to my site of Robert Pattinson who is playing Edward in the film. *sigh*

Enjoy!

Annoyed....

Have you ever met someone who you may have liked at first, but the more you got to know this individual the more you realized that they *really* bug you?

I have such an issue at the moment...and as much as I believe that when one has an issue with someone else it's usually because of one's own personal issues and not that actual person, I just can't seem to get over this annoyed feeling.

To get to the point: this person bugs the hell out of me. I'm usually a pretty nice person, but when this particular individual chooses to speak and says something, in my opinion, stupid, I really have a desire to just say something snide and harsh. I don't like this side of me. So I suppose I will have to do some "inner work" to discover why I have such a problem with this yahoo. (Okay, I shouldn't call him that, but whatever).

Wish me luck as I figure out what is wrong with me to find so much wrong with him. *Sigh* The work never ends, does it?

To better days.....

And so it begins...

Well, today was "day 1" of training for the Denver Marathon (although I will only be doing the 1/2 marathon portion). I managed to drag my co-worker into training for it with me. I, being so smart, know that if you have someone to "buddy-with" I will be more likely to accomplish my goal.

So, this morning, at 6:15 AM (mind you, I got up at 5:45 AM...ick) I headed over to Cassie's house (the above mentioned co-worker/friend) and we ran. We had our goal set for 2.5 miles, most of which took place in City Park, and we did make the distance, although, not running the whole way. I think we ran a little over a mile. At least we tried. We have months to go anyway....it was an effort to get up that early and do it, so I'm proud I survived it.

We plan on training on our own a few times a week and meeting up once a week like this morning until we get closer to the race---then we'll up the training time together.

Wish us luck!

Sorry, I'm just too angry to blog right now....lol

This is hilarious! Wish I could get out of work that easily....I would be mad all the time ;-) !

Funny Article (Click on this, duh)

Back to Nature....

Nothing marvelous to report here....so I thought I would put some beautiful pictures up....these are award winning photographs. (Not taken by me, though :-()

Enjoy!

My life, my old religion, my views on it all....

So, as I was relaxing in the bathtub and reading a magazine, I started thinking about how my life looks right now--and I smiled. Even though I have my fair share of worry and stress, my life is pretty good. Sure, I'm working on many aspects of my life, but for the first time in awhile I have a bit of peace. I'm still "searching" for that ultimate peace, but I don't know if that will be forthcoming until I'm more okay with myself. Like all women, I seem to find flaws galore in myself...something I am working on.

Being raised in a very religious background created certain expectations of how happiness is supposed to feel, but I think there is no one definition of it. When I look back on my past, when I was very active in my church community, I did feel that I was happy--or what I perceived as happiness. Now, I wonder if it was more innocence and naivete than anything. I was very sheltered so of course I didn't know any better. Very much like Plato's "The Cave" where there are people happily living in a cave, not knowing that outside is a beautiful world to be had, simply because they never ventured to walk outside it for fear's sake. Great piece of literature, but I digress. (Here is a link to more info on this allegory....for those scholary individuals....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_cave)

On several occasions I have tried to go back to that mentality---go to a few church meetings or an activity, but it all feels, not so much wrong, per Se, but rather not right for me. It's not that I won't believe what I was taught, but I can't.

After all I've already been through in my young age I know different truths.....different than I could have experienced if I stayed in that religious sect. I have also found that a lot of what I was raised with is true....but true even outside of that religion. Kind of like spiritual laws that, similar to laws of nature like gravity, are true regardless.....

It even breaks my heart in a way that how I was raised is not an option for me now. Some (uh...my family) would laugh and think it's because I refuse to give up sex and coffee. To that I chuckle. I have given up things that I thought I would DIE without....and if my eternal salvation rested on no longer having sex or not having my morning latte, surely, it would be worth it. However, that's not my truth---that is their truth. And, in moments of sadness and loneliness that past of mine which included my regular attendance to a certain church, has seemed appealing, in the hopes that it would ease my current pains.

But, as much as I would like to appease my worried family, I can't wrap my mind around a life that included "righteously" judging others, believing those that love someone in an "unnatural way" is wrong and bowing down to men simply because they have some "God-given" authority. Grant it, this religion has so many good sides to it, they do so much good in the world, but then again, so do many others.

I remember in college reading an article in the local college paper ( a religious college...I'm sure my friend's know which one I refer to) of a man struggling with homosexuality. He never "gave into it", did everything the church asked and probably tried harder than most to be a good man according to the church's teachings. The letter was so saddening, though, the turmoil he was suffering was almost palpable. A month later, in this same paper, his friend wrote in telling of this young man's suicide because he couldn't "overcome his trial". I remember how awful reading that was.....that a religion and it's judgment led a young man to this. So sad.

So, I have come to the conclusion that perhaps by filling my life with people that are "on the path" to higher spirituality and good Christians, is what will feel right to me. Again, I don't think any religion is "right" but rather that any religion that prompts you and the world to be better might have something to offer. Tomorrow, I plan on checking out a church on my campus that has a good sized young adult group. I think it might be a good place to meet friends who are interested in more than just partying on the weekend. Sadly, the majority of Denver's young adult crowd seems to fall in that category....and as I do not subscribe to that way of life I prefer to spend quaility time at home, but it would be great to share it with other like-minded individuals.

I guess I don't have a really good wrap-up to this except that I wanted to say what is in my heart. I find that I am constantly evolving my views, but some are definitely permanently in place, and that's letting -everyone "co-exist". Why can't we all not judge each other's choices? rather than thinking yours is the better one. Let's just agree that your choice is the best for you and vice versa. I think we can all agree on that.

I've had people tell me that perhaps my family has me in their lives in order to help them open up their views and opinions. If my life can do that, I will be happy, but I would much rather my family just love me for me despite my past and future choices. I know I am loved by them, of course, but I can't explain how it feels different now than it did when I was making the "right choices" in their opinion. C'est la vie, I suppose. But, I am grateful for my life, for the trials I've had, and of course the triumphs. I feel like big happiness is on it's way....and I will enjoy the journey to it...

Namaste. (Translation: "The spirit in me recognizes and greets the spirit in you").