Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On New Footing



So, I have been elusive where blogging is concerned.  But, I finally feel prompted to write something---so here we go.

Where to start?  Man, this past month has been a journey.   The end of February, I was quickly going down the stairs to work, in my platform snow boots, which I've worn a ZILLION times before, and I tripped (hands were full with my gym bag and purse) and tumbled--breaking my ankle on the way down.  By some miracle I hobbled to the bus stop a few blocks away and made it into the office. Since I got rid of my car years ago in lieu of saving $$ while in school--I had no choice.  I knew if I could make it into the office I could have someone take me to urgent care.  I made it into the office, hobbled into my boss's office and burst into tears.  He kindly offered to take me to urgent care---one hour later, I emerged with a new stylish boot cast (haha) and some crutches to go with it.

I saw a specialist that afternoon and was told I would be on crutches for a month and the boot cast for 6 weeks total.  At this point, I was in shock, but once I got home that afternoon I burst into sobs.  I was completely floored---I felt devastated.  How was I supposed to get to work?  It was a lot of effort to get across the room in crutches, let alone 3 blocks--How was I going to take out my trash?  How would I walk my dog?  OMG--how was I supposed to get to school?  I took a bus and the lightrail and then walked three city blocks to class---How was I going to do *anything*.    I decided to take a hot bath to try and relax---which led to more sobbing.  What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to handle this?  I felt very alone.

After a weekend of moping and hopping around the house (I had to hop on one leg in cases where I couldn't use my crutches--I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but hey, you do what you gotta do).  I came out of the fog--as of that Friday, one of my amazing co-worker friends had put together a sign-up sheet for rides for me to/from the office until I was off crutches.  I was so relieved---and SOOOO grateful.  So, okay, things were going to be okay.

Energetically speaking, I was forced to receive and ask---something I have not been able to do well---so in a way, it was an odd blessing--I had to ask EVERYONE for help.  I was surprised by complete strangers who helped me--one woman at school, I didn't even know, took me to Walgreens to pick up some things for my crutches (padding and such) and then took me home.  Wow, I was blown away at the kindness.

I was also surprised and in some cases,to find that people one *would* expect to help in such situations were totally MIA or not very helpful if downright inconsiderate.  So, that was interesting as well.

But most of all, I have been floored by the kindnesses shown to me.  I mean, my brother Patrick picked me up from Denver, took me to his home outside Longmont, to do my laundry since I couldn't do that on my own.  Then he drove me to school back in Denver that afternoon.  Thanks again Patrick & Lyndsey!

So, I'm at the tail end of the crutches stage---as of tomorrow I can walk in just my cast boot thing.  Thank GOD.  I even have a second date with a guy---the same guy I was supposed to go out with a month ago when I broke my ankle.  He has been VERY anxious to see me again---which is sweet--no expectations for me, though.  I've decided to try and let that go.

The funny thing is, after breaking my ankle, I have had a gazillion emails again on Match as well as more clients calling for Reiki --it's as if I'm so open to receiving that everything is flowing in.

Some other great news---I got another scholarship for this next quarter at DU and I have an interview for another scholarship this Saturday!  So, blessings find a way in, if you let them.

Overall, this whole experience has been a blessing in disguise---a very good disguise.  I've realized I am not alone--and that in times of sorrow and sadness--there is always a flip side--a bright side.

Thank you again to all those who have been so kind to me recently and really stepped up to the plate.

I'm looking forward to more mobility  and to be able to exercise in the gym--and most especially, to wear matching shoes again---with high heels.

N