Spinsterhood...?? Not yet.

This has been on my mind a lot lately and I figured I should might as well get it out there. Besides, it seems to be "the elephant in the room" whenever I am around certain people and I might as well address it.

This topic was sparked by a conversation from my "paramour" or as I refer to him among friends, "Pseudo Boyfriend" and now just "Pseudo Steve". Anyway, I get this call from him this morning while at work and he declares that I have to visit to Utah. Whhhaaat? I am a bit perplexed. A part of me is thinking, okay, he is based out of Salt Lake (he is a pilot for Delta--he flies from Denver to his "base" as he prefers to live here) so maybe he wants me to go visit some of his pilot buddies in Park City? Of course I was WAY wrong.

No, no, he thinks I will have to marry a Mormon therefore to find a Mormon one must visit Utah. That's all there is to it and I won't be happy otherwise. In retrospect this is funny, but at the moment I was offended. He knows I love my Mormon family and friends, but I'm afraid that I would never be happy married to one. ---I know, I know, many of you think otherwise, but trust me on this one, k? But this is not what I really want to blog about---it's the fact that my own "pseudo bf" thinks my "clock is ticking" and I need to hurry up and jump on the wedding train.

I'm really tired of this. I mean, I'm 28, not 48 and I have plenty of time to have kids and have a happily married life. What is more annoying is that Steve actually told me he would marry me "in a second" if I didn't want kids. But, I do and he doesn't so we have this bizarre situation where we are best friends with some extras and know that eventually we will part ways romantically. Fair enough. But it sucks that we have this disconnect. However, that's life.

So because of this understanding he and I have, he is "looking" out for me---wanting me to be happy and comes up with stupid ideas like this. Now, some of you are thinking, "well, if he really loved you he would...blah blah blah." Listen. Our relationship is far too complicated to explain here, but let's just say I have no doubt about his feelings for me, but realize he is aware of too many practical differences between us to ever make it work in a marital way--and I agree.

Anyway, I would be lying if I said, "I don't care about getting married" of COURSE I care. I so want that someday--a great, successful and loving husband, maybe a couple kids and a beautiful home--however, I am NOT in husband-hunting mode nor will I jump on the "clock-ticking bandwagon" so many near-thirty women hop onto out here. (yes, and it is only in certain parts of the country--in NYC or L.A. for example---TOTALLY different... WOMEN are closer to 40 when they marry there).

The thing is, I'm sorting out some stuff in my life--I'm back in school to FINALLY finish my degree, I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my spirituality and I'm finally learning who Nancy is. Not Nancy the Mormon or Nancy the youngest daughter or Nancy the black-sheep. Just me, just Nancy--and I like what I'm discovering. As I have explained to many, I am in a "cocoon" phase to reemerge a butterfly when I am good and ready. That may be 1 year or 3, but when I do I think I will be in the position to attract the perfect partner--soul mate and helpmate and husband. So, that's my story. That's why I am NOT pursuing dating or "getting out there" or joining match.com...I'm just doing my own thing.

And that suits me for now.

On a funnier note--my bf texted me a hilarious incident that occurred to her while she went inside her office building. While entering the door she came across a very handsome young man and smiled, however, as the door opened a huge gust of wind assaulted her and managed to blow open her wrap dress to reveal her semi-nakedness to aforementioned hot guy. Awesome. Embarrassing, but hilarious.

Have a happy day.