Quote

"All strong souls first go to hell before they do the healing of the world they came here for. If we are lucky, we return to help those still trapped below."

~Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Valentine's Day---blah blah blah

Well, it's Valentine's Day --or I guess, Valentine's Evening now.  It has been uneventful.  The thing is, that's okay.  I was lying in bed this morning thinking about all this and had a realization:  I would rather spend many a "lonely" Valentine's Day than spend it with the wrong guy...(which I've done, too...but that feels like lifetimes ago...but anyway).  I mean, yeah, it sucks not getting the flowers or chocolates or card or *whatever.* 

However, if being alone on Valentine's Day means that I'm making myself available for the right guy by not being with the wrong guy, well, I can do that. I feel like the Universe is teaching me PATIENCE.  Which is annoying, but hey, it is what it is.

In truth, I did receive some V-Day wishes from a few guys--both of which would love to date me; however, they aren't right for me...so I'm keeping them as friends.  

Today was a pretty good day by all accounts anyway---I slept in, made a scrumptious breakfast (organic french toast with real maple syrup anyone?), meditated for an hour, watched a fun, girlie-movie, took a nap and then wrote two essays for some scholarships.  A good day overall.  

Back to the V-day nonsense:  Of course I want to be in love and have that returned, but sometimes you just have to trust--and so that's what I'm doing.  And, I'm full of hope---to the brim actually.  Life really keeps getting more real, and true and lovely--with a few bumps here and there---but the path remains the same. 

However, since it is a lovey-dovey day, here is my FAVORITE Shakespearan Sonnet-- Enjoy!

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

January--a recap!

Phew!  There is something about January--the very deepest part of winter (on this side of the hemisphere anyway) that really affects soooo many.  In January I had several Reiki clients --probably for this very reason.

January really seems to trigger us.  From what I have learned in some spiritual classes I've taken--the reason for this is because when there are fewer hours of light outside we tend to turn inward or "inside"--and therefore inward "stuff" gets stirred up.  However, the truth is--this is a GOOD thing.  If we don't feel it--we can't heal it and move on.  It's better to sit with that uncomfortableness of feeling pain, hurt, confusion, etc. so that it can be addressed and looked at than it is to let it simmer in our spirits and drive our current realities.

But I digress...

So, January--wow.  Let's just say I experienced periods of growth and pain that I would not have been capable of sitting with before.  Looking at myself- my life, just a few months ago even--I see a different person.  I have grown so much, and for that, I feel truly, TRULY blessed.  It was definitely not a comfortable experience, but it was do-able, and so here I am.   A bit lighter, a bit brighter, a bit happier.

Just a few things that happened in January (the good, the bad and the other):

• Moved to a new apartment (am SOOOO happy about this one) in downtown Denver.
• Passed a kidney stone
• Had an ovarian cyst burst (I realize this might be TMI--but whatever--it was REALLY painful!)
• Taught my first Reiki II class--it was awesome, albeit draining....
• Took a 30 day meditation course (meditating an hour a day--with the guidance of a teacher--6 days a week--it wrapped up last Friday)  One word:  Remarkable.  Meditation will CHANGE YOUR LIFE for the better!
• Had numerous instances where my intuition proved to be totally correct
• Started a new quarter at DU as a Senior!
• Got below my goal weight--(by just a few pounds--don't worry, I'm still quite healthy and feel great!)
• Had my three year "b-day" (I'm not going to explain this--if you know me, you know what this is about--see previous blog post for more info on that one)
• Sold my treadmill (Beau is now relegated to regular doggie walks--now that we're in an actual neighborhood it's feasible again)
• Received a 100% on my goals at work= received my full quarterly bonus

Pretty crazy month!   I'm happy to be in February, but looking back at this list; I am full of gratitude for these experiences.  Even the uncomfortable ones because it makes me that much more grateful for the beautiful, blissful, glee-filled moments.

And, when you stay present, these feelings really do exist!  I have learned, through my meditation course, that when you stay present--focusing on being in THIS moment-- not yesterday or tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now--but *this* very moment --you have the ability to feel elated, giddy, blissful.  It's real, it's there---and how cool is that?  So--here is to MANY more of those moments. 

N.